


I Hate Ham

by Bronzeflower



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: But not ham, Drabble, M/M, Silly, bc i hate ham, clearly it's ham that should be questioned for being on pizza, or anywhere, pineapple on pizza, what pineapple on pizza discourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11639457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronzeflower/pseuds/Bronzeflower
Summary: In which my dadsona loves pineapple on pizza but hates ham with the fury of a thousand suns





	I Hate Ham

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I know this may seem silly, but I hope y'all realize that I am 100% serious about this

“Can I get two slices of Hawaiian pizza? Oh wait, Jessie, you’re cool with pineapple on your pizza, right?”

“Of course! But…” You pause.

“But what?” Robert pushes. He’s glaring at you.

“...Could I get, like, bacon instead of ham?”

“Any particular reason why?”

“I hate ham. Ham is disgusting. No meat should be sweet. It’s an abomination. You go to eat a slice of ham, thinking it’s going to be your regular old salty kind of meat, but no. Of course not. It has to be sweetened! Who sweetens meat anyway? You ever hear of someone sweetening their steak? No, of course not! Because that’s ridiculous! Who in their right mind would ruin a perfectly good steak by sweetening it?”

“But you like pineapple?”

“Pineapple is a fruit. It’s supposed to be sweet. Ham is a meat. It’s supposed to be savory. The idea behind putting pineapple and some meat on a pizza is to have a savory and sweet meal, but you can’t have that if you’re putting the abomination that is sweetened ham on the pizza along with your pineapple.”

“So, no ham?”

“No ham. Pineapple is the best pizza topping, and I just think it’s a shame to ruin it with awful meat.”

**Author's Note:**

> I legit hate ham


End file.
